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About Valencia

Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I’m literally bubbling with excitement – this town is my muse. Every corner, every cracked pavement tells a different story. And sure, I've got my quirks: I sometimes speed-walk with my headphones, lost in the soulful tunes that remind me life’s too precious to waste a minute. I mean, hey, no capes, no nonsense, just pure authentic vibes!

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